DON'T WAIT FOR IT!

(We, as Americans, are more fascinated with celebrity than ever before.)

Hey Guys and Gals,

Hope all are well. I wish I was in a better mood but it has just been too damn hot here and it is hard to stay cheery when it is pushing 100 degrees for days and days and the humidity wraps you up in misery like a wet woolen blanket. You can barely breathe in this stuff, let alone think happy thoughts. So I’m just gonna’ bitch a little bit today. But I’ll be a kinder, gentler me next time--if and when the mercury drops below 90. See you then!

Delaniac

DON’T WAIT FOR IT!

Andy Warhol is attributed with saying, “In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.” There has been some controversy about that over the years. It turns out he didn’t so much coin the phrase as he did repeat or paraphrase it. It doesn’t matter either way because whoever originated the thought really had their crystal ball humming.

We, as Americans, are more fascinated with celebrity than ever before. And by “celebrity” I do not mean in the traditional sense, say pre-1990.

A celebrity used to have some sort of accomplishment on their resume, usually in the world of entertainment. Singers, actors, musicians, sports figures. Even writers. And that’s okay. We all admire those who can do something we cannot do, and do it really well. And that admiration is key here.

But since the advent of first the internet, then the cell phone, then “reality” shows and social media, being famous just ain’t what it used to be. And there is far less to admire.

I put both “celebrity” and “reality” in quotes because they are both suspect when it comes to the truth. There is no “reality” in reality TV and even less accomplishment in those we deem worthy of the new celebrity status.

The fastest way to reach the fifteen minutes of fame rung on the ladder of our newly vaunted mediocrity is to do something cringe-worthy or profoundly stupid, film it, and post it somewhere. Here one’s celebrity status is not rated by talent or some artistic contribution to society, but how many likes and shares one can accumulate. And admiration has been usurped by some kind of sick adoration. Of course, going “viral” is the goal here.

And let’s stop and parse that for a moment. Viral literally means “…caused by, or relating to a virus or viruses.” In a very real sense, going viral is spreading a disease. How apropos. Can you ever listen to Coldplay again the same way? I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to spending way too much time scrolling through this feed and that feed.

And there is some really fun and informative shit out there. Kittens are good. Ducks, too. Laughing kids and Moms and Dads sharing various levels of cuteness. People doing nice things. Real time news updates from legitimate news sources can be very enlightening. But that stuff rarely, if ever, goes viral. What does go viral are pissed-off people screaming through car windows, spewing their deep rooted hatred of their own miserable lives into the ether. People getting hit in the groin is a biggie, as are click-baiting five minute posts that say “Wait for it!” I never do wait for it and neither should you. No good will come of it.

These people called “influencers” can go viral. But I’ve yet to understand what an influencer is other than an attention-craving moron bloviating on a platform where nobody can tell him to shut-the-fuck-up in real time. If our fixation with the new celebrity is a reflection of who we are as a society, we’re pretty much fucking doomed.

You can’t shut this barn door, and all the cows are running amuck, spreading their bullshit hither and yon, and we are the flies circling their steaming cow patties. And if you expect this deluge of sewage to subside, I wouldn’t wait for it if I were you.